The Girls We Once Were

Photo by Jennifer Upton

Photo by Jennifer Upton

**Trigger Warning: Abusive Relationships**

I want to tell you how much you stole from me. 

I want you to know that I used to write. Of course you know this, because I was foolish enough to write for you. I miss the girl that used to write, and I HATE you for killing her. 

I killed her, but it was because of you. I killed her because I blamed her. I blamed her youth, I blamed her naivete, I blamed her longing to be loved. 

I killed her because I blamed her, but make no mistake - it was your fault. Her blood is on your hands, not mine. 

I was a child. You were a man. A man of the church, a man I trusted. 

You targeted me. You saw everything that was beautiful and lovely and pure and innocent in me. You also saw my woundedness, and it drew you to me like a shark closing in on its bleeding prey in the water. I had no chance. 

I killed her because I blamed her, but it was never her fault. All those things I blamed were all the reasons I was innocent: I was young. I was naive. I was unloved and vulnerable. 

I was a child, but you were a man I trusted. You came for me, and I had no chance. 

Fuck you. 

I want you to know how much you stole from me. 

The years I spent blaming myself. 

The years I spent hating the girl I once was, and blaming her for your evil. 

Fuck you. 

You won't win, you know. The girl I once was is already coming back to me. I killed her because I blamed her, but I won't let her rot in the grave that should be yours. 

She is coming back to me, and I am making my peace with her, one broken word at a time. 

I want you to know how much you stole from me, and I want you to watch as I take it all back. 

One broken word at a time.

Written by Story Sessions' Member TJ Poon.

What would happen if we reached deep inside and whispered for the girl we once were to come back—to show herself—to know she's loved and accepted and not forgotten. 

I wonder what we would say?

What would you say?

Today we invite you to share with us your reclaiming. The linky will be open until Wednesday. Won't you join us? There's room for you here.